He knows his birthday is just a little over a month away. So he gave me this...
First, notice what date he wrote at the top. Nope, not today's date. It's his birthday! He informed me that Punching G B means Punching Glove and Bag. I don't know about the Xbox 360, and I don't think Transformers 2 will be out yet, but I think I can pick a couple of these to work on. Gosh, he makes me smile!
I've gotten a few "nudges" from people who want to see pictures of things here in Japan other than our house. I get it...I get it...you are excited to see Japan too. Well, in order for me to show you pictures of Japan, I had to get off base and see it for myself. I hadn't been off base since the first night that Craig picked us up at the airport in Naha. So yesterday, our Sunday, we went off base for a few hours. It was the first day that we were all fully rested, feeling well, and...it was really fun to go do a little exploring as a family.
First off, the island of Okinawa isn't that big. But that being said -- there is ALOT of stuff to see and do here! We have not even begun...and I am not worried that we'll get bored during our three years here, that's for sure!
I'd also like to add that I wasn't the greatest photographer. We were just driving on Sunday, without much of an agenda, so these are all pictures I took from the car. We were just trying to see what was out there. And...I have no idea what I was taking pictures of.
I just wanted to give you a "taste" of what we were seeing -- but that was a little hard, because I was mostly gawking and forgetting to take pictures. There was so much to see.
My friend, Monica, asked me if all the signs here are in Japanese or if most of them are in English too. Well, before I got here, I thought they'd be in both English and Japanese. But I was wrong. They were mostly in Japanese. Where we went yesterday was, anyhow. Which just adds to the fun, the adventure, and the discovery...in my opinion.
I took this picture to show you the shisa dragons sitting on either side of the gate. They flank the entryways to many buildings on and off base. From what I learned in my orientation class last week, they are a decoration that are most often found in pairs and are similar to a gargoyle. The shisa is seen as a protector, and is believed to be good luck. They are abundantly seen on rooftops or doorways to buildings and homes on Okinawa. Interesting, I thought. I'll definitely need to leave here with my own set of these guys! (A smaller set, of course.)
I had to show you a picture of us driving on the left side of the road. Which actually hasn't taken that long to get used to. Except, of course, on my way to take Craig to work at 5:20 this morning. But hey, I was sleepy!! At least the road was empty. He had a good laugh over that! And I was very alert after that point, Mom... so don't worry, k?!!
As we were traveling off base, we passed several McDonald's. Which, I didn't even expect to see here. Darn, I thought I had escaped the American Fast Food trap, but alas, it has followed me to Okinawa, Japan.
And finally, we made it to our destination!! The 100 Yen Store!! 100 Yen is approximately one U.S. dollar so this store is supposed to be like a dollar store. But it was so much better than any dollar store I've ever stepped foot into!!
And sorry, there aren't any pictures of inside the store because I was entirely too enthralled with what I was seeing. I'll have to attempt that again another day! (Insert big cheesy grin at the thought of having an excuse to go to the 100 yen store again.) And believe it or not, even Craig enjoyed browsing around the store. Yes, you read that right. My husband who loathes, no, abhors shopping. He was pretty handy too. He found some S-hooks that I'd been needing for my pot rack that we couldn't find on base. Good job, honey! We also bought the kids a few Japanese snacks to try out. Oooh, what fun that was!! They were pretty good.
And because my kids have been so intrigued by all of the vending machines, Craig did what any good dad would do and he let them each pick a drink from the vending machine outside the 100 Yen Store to go with their snack.
So, we spent our Sunday afternoon driving back to the base, drinking our vending machine drinks, eating our Japanese snacks, and listening to the top country countdown on Armed Forces Network (AFN). A great way to spend our Sunday afternoon! I have a feeling we'll be spending many more Sundays like this!
Before. This was what Allyssa's room looked like before we got here. (Pictures taken by my wonderful husband, Craig.)
Inspiring? Makes you want to just dig in, right? No!?! Well, me neither. But my daughter must have felt differently. Or, she was just sick of not having her own room...of living out of suitcases...she wanted to feel "at home". So, she started unpacking and putting things away before any of us did. And because of that, I decided that her room deserved to be the first to be painted and unpacked. So, without further ado, I present to you the After of Allyssa's room. (Pictures taken by my excited daughter, Allyssa. She couldn't wait to share the pictures of her room with you. She is so proud of it!)
She loves that poster she made in 3rd grade, so we had it framed before we moved here. As for the rest of the room, its pretty much done. We have some finishing touches, but that'll have to wait until the rest of the house looks more like this room. I can't wait to show you more -- because that means I'm closer to being unpacked and settled in!
So, I'm tired. It's almost 10:30pm here on Saturday night. We were all sitting down watching a family movie. I was contemplating whether or not to blog, and was leaning toward the "not" because I'm just plum tired. But then, Craig got a phone call...called into work. He was irritated and disappointed. But, that's our life here. He's 2nd in charge, so that'll probably happen alot.
Which is kind of funny.... because we (him and I) were just talking about this scenario earlier today. About how this base is so different for us. For him - his career. For us -- our family. How much change it all is. And I'm first to say that I am all for moving in the military and getting to experience new places. I love PCSing. In theory. I love the outcome, how at the end of our time at a new duty station, I feel like I've accomplished something, how I've learned and grown. But, I must admit that the getting there, to that change, it's not always the funnest. Sometimes, change hurts. Sometimes, in order to get to the good outcome, we have to withstand some growing pains.
And I've been feeling the growing pains this week as we're getting settled into our new home here in Japan. And lately, as I've been unpacking and painting and organizing my house away, I've had my moments. My happy moments. When I'm thrilled that we're finally here with Craig. Intrigued by driving on the left side of the road. Curious about the language and the culture and all the new things we'll get to see and do and learn. And then, I have moments of sadness. And mostly, lately, because all I've been doing is unpacking -- it's about my house. My new house and my old home.
You see, as I unpack all of my familiar things into this unfamiliar house, I am reminded about how I had really gotten into a groove in our last home. And I miss it. I miss my painted walls, my yard, and how I finally had everything so perfectly organized. I had figured out how to use every available foot of space in that home. And with that came good routines and schedules, and...we were happy. Our home in Montgomery wasn't big...it was actually probably pretty close to the same size that this house is. But, we were settled.
And at the beginning of this week, as I walked around this new house of ours, I started to get a bit discouraged. This house is older. And build to withstand weather. It is entirely cement and our floors are all tile. We have three bathrooms but only one has a shower. Our ceilings are all angeled and none of them have the cute crown molding that had given our last house so much charm. And the more and more I thought things like this, the more these kind of thoughts kept coming. It was so easy to see the good in my last house, our last base, our last city, all our old friends -- and so easy to see fault in all that was new here.
And the more and more discouraged I got, the more and more I knew I had to figure out a way to snap out of it. To get over it. To "buck up" and make it work, because feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to get me anywhere. And just as I was trying to turn my attitude about our new house around...I stumbled upon something. Literally -- I tripped over this little sign.
It was given to me by my friend Dee as we were leaving Montgomery. Instead of giving me a card, she gave me this. And on the back she wrote:
Dear Zaleski's,
As the Air Force takes you from place to place; it is not the size of the house that defines who you are but the strength of your "home". Your home has inspired me in more ways than one and for that I am so thankful. Charity, you have made Montgomery tolerable with your kind heart and open mind. Thank you fore being...you!
Love, The Wild Family
It was at that moment, upon stumbling on this sign, that I realized what I was really missing. I was missing all of the things that were familiar to me. Yes, this house is old. It's not nearly as cute as our old house was. But I can change that around in no time. Because, as my husband, Craig keeps reminding me... that when we first moved into our house in Montgomery, I wasn't too thrilled with it either. When I complain about all of our tile floors, our ugly kitchen ceiling or our yard that is lacking in any kind of privacy, he gently reminds me that it's not the floor, the ceiling, or the yard that's bugging me...but that I haven't made this house my home yet. This last week, my husband has been good. He's been patient and loving and kind. And I've needed that.
And the last few days, I've been painting and organizing like crazy. Trying to put my mark on this base house. Trying to give it some character. Today, Craig and I spent a good few hours in my daughter's room -- hanging pictures (into cement walls, yep, that takes time), rebuilding a shelf, and talking. We talked about our goals for while we're here, what life will be like (and won't be like), how much bigger our kids seem...all while listening to them playing board games dowstairs, giggling and hollering, all in good fun. It was a nice day. Not only because our house is starting to look like our home. But...because it's starting to feel that way to. And that, I don't believe comes with painting walls. That comes from dreaming and talking and laughing and loving -- and having friends that know the right gift to send along -- welcome home! (And thanks Dee, that gift was perfetct then...and even more perfect now!!)
Can you tell it's a foreign country by my sunrise picture? This is looking out my back door this morning as the sun was rising. I think it was about 5am-ish. I got up at 4am. Amazing, yes, I know. You may be talking about the sun rise. I'm talking about me actually being awake to see it. You see, I'm not a morning person. So sunrises are not normally something I witness. But my jet lag has been putting me to bed early, which means up early too. And, I'm kind of liking it!!
So, I've been busy doing the first things we military kind do when we get to a new base. Visiting finance to get them working on reimbursing us for the expenses of our move. Going to the base all-day orientation. I even got my drivers license so I can drive in Japan, which means, on the left side of the road. Scary!!
I've also been trying to unpack little by little without going too overboard because I know I need to adapt to the time zone. I also need to adapt to living with my husband again, ha! (All smiles, folks.) So, unpacking all the stuff that the movers shipped here and all of these...
And to top it all off, I've got sinus and allergy issues like nobodies business! So, I'm still jet lagged, I"m fighting some crazy allergies...but I'm still unpacking. And I'm painting and organizing, and I can't wait to share pictures with all of you. But I can't. Not yet. 'Cause I'm not that good -- nothing's finished yet. And since it's not, I'll share this with you instead...
It's the view we see a few blocks away from our house. Cool, can you see the water? It's in the middle off in the distance. I don't know if that's the Pacific Ocean, or the East China Sea...those are the waters that surround us. I'll have to get better at my directions and figure it out. But for now...I'm going to bed. Until next time, my friends...
(*Posted at 11:06pm July 9th - Japan time)
Do you remember when Craig bought me my van before he deployed last summer? Yes, this van...
I love this van! But, we aren't taking it to Japan with us. Alot of times in the military, when moving overseas, you take your vehicle with you. But taking your vehicle to Japan is not recommended. From what I've learned there are several reasons to this. First off, you drive on the other side of the road in Japan, so it costs alot to convert your vehicle. Second...it's an island and space is small - and American cars are not, AND, and island gets lost of saltwater so things rust. So after finding all of that out, and that the Air Force will store our van for us in a really nice storage facility (and pay for it) while we are gone, AND, island vehicles aren't too expensive...we decided to store our van while we're gone.
So today, Colby and I spent a good portion of our morning cleaning our van out and getting it ready for storage.
And oh boy, did this picture remind me of his daddy. He looks so big in this picture (literally...it must be the angle). And, if his dad were here (and not already in Japan) -- this would totally be his job. Craig would happily take on this chore. So I don't know if it's because my youngest really is a mini-me of Craig, or that he walks and talks just like him too, or that it's been almost four months since I've seen him and I'm just really missing him...(probably a good mixture of all of that)...but cleaning the car out with Colby today sure did make me miss my husband.
But Craig isn't here. And I'm not going to dwell on that, because we will see him soon. But today, Colby was here...and he was happy to help! He's such a good helper! So we cleaned and detailed our van becausee when you store a vehicle for three years, they want it REALLY clean before you turn it in. I guess for a few reasons. So they can make note of the damages already to it before they take responsibility for it. But also, 'cause you'd hate to leave a Mickey D's french fry under your seat for three years, to come back to a car infested with ants, right?
Not only was Colby willing, but he was good and thorough! Man I love that kid! So, we did other things today too. Spent two hours at the vet getting my dog's Health Certificate... but that's a whole other story. We went to Allyssa's first showcase show, but again... that's a whole other story too. I even did some laundry and started packing up the rest of our stuff that hasn't been packed here, because we leave here tomorrow. But again, a whole other story. So, I guess, for tonight, I get to tell you that ...
six days before we left for Japan I cleaned out my van with my six-year-old. Who was happy to help. And good at it too!
Yes, I am counting down the days until I get to give my hunky husband a hug. Until I get to see my new home. Until I'm no longer picking my clothes out of a suitcase. No, I'm not counting the hours and minutes...but I feel like I should be. It's been almost four months since my dear husband left for Japan. We NEVER thought that this move would take the turns that it has, or, that we would be apart this long. But, it is what it is. And here we are today, still a strong family... after all of this. We are so super excited to be reunited again soon. And because of that excitement, I know that this week could be one of the longest week's of my life. But, fortunately for me, I have a lot of things I must do before we catch our flight Sunday afternoon that will keep me busy and distracted.
Today...I spent the majority of my day (after doing some laundry and making some important phone calls) helping my sister, Ange, set up shop. Yes, Ange is the sister who does the wedding flowers. And for the past four-ish years, she's done them out of her home. But, she has recently decided to start a new venture and open up an actual brick and mortar store...
where she will not only do wedding flowers, but where she will have retail things to sell...alot of homemade things. Because, she is also very artsy and makes amazing things. Like jewelery and really amazing altered collages...and she is now needing a bigger place to make/display these items. But she also thinks that she will be able to do some events centered around her artistic abilities. Some classes and parties...workshops. And, I think that the college town she lives in is the perfect backdrop for such a business. And I also think that she is capable of making it work. Her product (her creativity) is definitely marketable! It has already proven to be!
So, today, we worked on this two-room shop. One room will be her flower shop/retail space. The other room will be where she holds classes/workshops/parties. These pictures are of the blank slate, the before. In this aspect, my sister and I are alot alike. So today, it was alot of fun getting to help be creative, and to help her set up something she has dreamt about for a while. I know it will be a success...I only wish I lived close enough to help for longer and more often. But, at last, Japan awaits. I leave here (the Spokane, WA area) Wednesday night to head to my Mom's for a few days. Tomorrow I will need to work on packing up my suitcases and tying up a few lose ends. But today, today I got to hang with my sister...and play. What a good day!
I took the weekend off and didn't post. Instead, I helped my sister, Ange, with two weddings (she does wedding flowers). We also went to a barn sale where tons of vendors were set up with antiques and crafts and things. I took the kids to church yesterday. We had a Sunday evening BBQ. It was a fun, but busy, weekend.
In fact...it was so fun (and busy) that I fell asleep last night at 8:30 as Allyssa was reading her bed-time stories out loud to me. I am usually the one who reads her to sleep. And get this...I fell asleep in the dress I wore to church. And slept in it. All night long! Soooo not typical for me. If you know me well, you know that I'm a night owl and an 8:30 bedtime is completely NOT normal. And if you know me even better than well, you know that I like my routines. So to fall asleep in my dress... without doing my nightly routines...or at the minimum, putting pajamas on! Now, that is completely and entirely NOT typical Charity behavior. But guess what? It was a nice change! At least...I feel rested today, that's for sure!
Which is a good thing. Feeling rested. Because today begins our one week countdown. In one week from today, I will be sitting in my new home in Japan. Which means, we are flying to Japan next Sunday. So...lots to do this week!
And because I love you all so much and hate to think that you'd come all the way to my blog to visit and see the "same old post" sitting here... I have a plan.
This week, I am going to take a break from most of my normal blogging -- because finding the time to wrap my head around a creative account of one of our life stories -- that might be too much. But I will continue to blog our daily activities...the "last official week of this PCS (move) to Japan" kind of stuff. Which, in all honesty, you may find quite boring.
On the other hand, you may find it to be interesting, humorous, and crazy. OR -- it may make you feel very thankful that you won't be hauling three kids, a dog, and 12 pieces of luggage to Japan any time soon.
(Pictures are from on of the weddings we did this weekend. If you are in the Spokane, Washington area and are in need of a florist, please visit my sister's website by clicking here. No, I am NOT shameless... she's my sister. Free blog advertising is part of that gig. :-)
My son, Colby...
who I must brag up for a little bit. Why? Well...he went to a "World of Sports" day-camp this week. And if you know Colby, you know that is right up his alley! So anyhow, he went to this day-camp. And I imagine that most of the kids that go to this day-camp probably go there every week during the summer. Almost like daycare, but for older kids. I sent Colby (just for this week) because his sister is in a theater camp, his brothers aren't here...and I wanted him to have something fun to do this week as well.
So, every day this week the staff at this day-camp have been telling me that Colby is "so good" and that they've "really enjoyed having him". Which was nice to hear. And I was proud that he was being so well-behaved for the staff at day-camp. But I was even more surprised today, when picking him up, that several of the staff members told me that they were really disappointed that Colby wouldn't be sticking around all summer -- because they've had so much fun with him! They told me that he is so well-mannered. And a genuinely good kid. And that he's funny and tells great stories!
Well, I know he's funny and tells great stories! Oh, do I know!! And for the most part, I know he's a good kid. I also know that at times my little man can be a handful. Because he's nonstop. And loud. And full of energy. And at times, he's stubborn and chooses to do his own thing rather than to listen and obey. He's...a kid. A normal kid. An ALL boy kind of kid.
So I was happy to hear all the kind words that the staff had to say about Colby today. My sister (who dropped him off this morning) even said that she was told that Colby was the best kid they had there! Wow!! Nice compliment!! Days like today? Yeah...they make me feel like we're doing something right with our loud, non-stop, full of energy, all-boy kid. And that feels good. And proud of my boy!
On another note -- lately, we've taken to calling Colby...Colby-san.
You know, like Daniel-san...off of Karate Kid. (A tidbit of info: Karate Kid was actually filmed on the island of Okinawa, where we are moving.) So anyhow, Colby has been telling us that in Japan, we will have to call him Colby-san.
As far as I know, adding -san to a name in Japanese is much like saying Miss, Mrs. or Mr. in English. It's a sign of respect and it honors the person.
So, perfect for today!
For fun, I found this really cool website that actually translates your name into how it would be said in Japanese -- and it also shows you the kanji characters for your name and tells you how to pronounce it. Click here if you'd like to go check it out.
And per this website... Colby's name in Japanese would actually be Korubii. But I think I prefer to Call him Colby-san. And today, I say, kuddos to my Colby-san!
Click to read part one, part two or part three.
It was mid-March, and at the moment the judge was telling us her decision, I was at peace. Which was odd. Weird, but nice. Especially considering just moments before I was nervous and fidgety. A minute before, I had knots in my stomach and couldn't believe that I was even in court. I really couldn't believe that I had to be in court -- asking that a judge grant me, a military wife, permission to move my son to the Air Force Base in Japan that my husband had been assigned to.
*
But... it was what it was...the situation I was in. An accumulation of my life choices. So I gave it up to God and was at peace the moment the judge told us that...
Yes, we had permission to relocate to Japan with my son, Daziel.
{Sigh} Breathe. Oh, relief!
The judge ordered that my son's father sign the passport paperwork within two days. Pretty much everything else in our parenting plan that had to be changed was due to the distance we were going to be from my boy's father. I will spare you all the legal details, but it all worked out really well in the end. Everything that I was asking for -- I was asking for my son. And pretty much everything I asked for -- was granted.
I couldn't believe it! As I walked out of the courtroom, I was relieved and in disbelief. I couldn't believe that there wasn't a hitch or a hold-up. That everything had gone so smoothly! After all of the kinks and wrong turns...after all the stress and worry that had been a part of this PCS process for us...it was weird to feel that everything had gone so right. That it looked like there might actually be a "light at the end of the tunnel".
And... as I walked out of the courtroom, I felt bad. I felt bad for questioning. For wondering if things would all work out. I felt bad that God had been so good to me, to my family...and that I hadn't trusted Him to do so all along. And as I walked away from the courthouse that day, I had a little talk with my God. "Lesson learned."
Two days later we got the signed paperwork. Whew, what a relief! But that wasn't the end of it. We had to overnight that paperwork to the agent at our departing base (who was still back in Alabama) so she could overnight it to the State Department where it could be added to the paperwork we had already sent in to start the process. It was supposed to be expedited...processed, approved, and then made into my boy's military passport. We knew that we were dealing with government agencies, and it is peak time for military families to be moving, so we expected that this would still take a few weeks. A month, maybe.
But my husband didn't have a month. Even though things were looking on the bright side, he still had to leave. He had a report no later than date and had to be in Japan by the end of March. But even so, we were still floating on happy thoughts and good vibes because we knew we would be "good to go" soon!
A few days after that, we had to drive to Seattle to take my husband to the airport. He had to leave us so he could do his duty, his job in the Air Force. On one hand, we were still happy that things turned out so well in court just days earlier. But on the other, and on that day, we were a little bummed. We are a military family. And we were excited to be on this journey together. Excited to fly together to our new base in a new country. Excited to get to experience all the "new" things...new house, new car, new neighbors, new (and the list goes on)...together, as a family. But we tried not to stay in that bummed-out frame of mind for long. Instead of counting the things we were disappointed in, we decided to count our blessings...because after all, we knew that things could definitely be worse!
So, my dear husband was off! He flew to Japan. Alone. I stayed in the northwest, along with three of our kids (remember, Killian lives in Georgia with his mother) and our dog. We decided to make the best of our "waiting game". We started one more round of visits to all of my family (large family) while we waited on Daziel's passport to process. I homeschooled the kids. We waited. We traveled. We waited. We visited more family while we waited some more.
In the meantime, I called our agent weekly to check on the passport's status. She assured me that she'd let me know as soon as it came in. But week after week, I didn't hear from her. And when I didn't, I called. I had to know. I hoped that we would be in Japan, back together as a family, by Easter.
Nope. Easter came and went and still no passport. Not even a word about a passport. I started calling our agent twice a week. And bless her heart, she was so understanding! She had no control over how fast or slow this would be. But she continued to try to get ahold of the State Department weekly to check on it's progress. And each and every time, we got the same answer back. "It's still being processed". I was beginning to lose patience. When was this going to end? Why was it taking so long? When would we get to leave? Why did this road have to be so long?
I started thinking, "What, God, am I supposed to be learning here? I'll learn it! Please, I'll do whatever it takes...just let us go...I want to be with my husband." I was tired of living like gypsies...living out of suitcases, staying with this sister or that one...I just wanted to be "home" with my husband.
But still, no passport came...
(To be continued...)
*Pictures are from the "photo shoot" talked about here.
If you haven't yet (and would like to) read the first parts to our PCS Purgatory story, click here:
When I left off last, I was talking about the first of the year and how things were hectic as we were in the midst of leaving Alabama on our military move to Japan. We were busy with packers and movers and boxes and goodbyes. Life "in the moment" had taken control; we were busy with the things at hand. It was hard to think ahead to visiting family and international flights when we had to deal with other things that were more pressing. Things like how it was taking three days for our packers to box up our belongings when they had scheduled for one.
Like how it was harder to take apart our home -- to take down decorations, paint walls back to "air force white", and say goodbye to the house that had become our home. Generally speaking, when we move into a base house, I intentionally do my best to turn it into something special, something we feel proud to call home. For me, that's the easy part. But when we leave, I have to paint it all back and return it to that generic base house that we first walked into -- for the next Airman who will call that house their home.
Is doing all that... is it physically hard? Not nearly as much as it is emotionally difficult.
And as we continued saying our goodbyes in Montgomery, I began to realize something. I realized that every other military move we have done... I have felt ready for it. That doesn't mean that I loved moving away from family or friends, or that the move was easy. But I knew it was "time" for a new chapter in our life, in our military journey. This time around, it didn't feel like that to me. I had gotten so settled and secure in my life, in our lives, and it hurt me to move away. It was the hardest move I've ever done. And I can't pinpoint why. All I knew was that one night, when I looked out my window and thought, 'I am even going to miss the Alabama sky'...I realized that I was grieving, and that would take some time to process.
But time we didn't' have. Our move was in full swing and we still weren't getting the cooperation we needed to get my oldest son's passport. Like I said before, I was worried about what our options were. And added to all the normal stresses of an overseas move... to the movers and packers and goodbyes... was this mess with the passport.
{Sigh} How did this get to be so messy?
I don't know. But I did know that I was running out of time. That we were planning to spend a month visiting family, and that my husband, my airman, had to report to Japan by the end of March. And that a passport would take about that long to get.
{Sigh again} I started to get worried. What if we couldn't get the passport? What if we couldn't get the signature that we needed? Could Craig turn down his orders or ask for something different? Maybe, but that would not be good for his career, which in turn means that it wouldn't be good for our family. Not to mention, he could ask to turn it down, but it wasn't a guarantee. He had turned down his one-year remote orders to Korea back in 1999, when Allyssa was a newborn baby. Six months later, he had them again -- those same exact orders!
I felt like the well-being of our family rested on my shoulders. That figuring out how to make this move happen -- for us all to be together -- was my job. I asked around for advise, called air force organizations, and went onto a military website in Okinawa and posted questions on their discussion boards. No one that I talked to had ever been in our exact situation. The few people that had somewhat similar stories talked about leaving their child behind with the other parent.
Wow...I was starting to get worried. Unless forced, that was not an option for me. Not for my son or for my family. And what was frustrating was that my oldest -- he was excited about this move. He is looking forward to it. And above all else...that boy and me... we are a family. He's always lived with me. And it's not just me, but his brother and sister...
and the step-dad that he often call's "dad". Craig and I were married when he was 18 months old; it's what he's always known. I was going to do everything I could to keep it that way. Everything I could do to let him know that even though his dad and I weren't agreeing, that none of this...nothing...was his fault. And that we all love him very, very much! I still needed to figure out what to do...
But how? I wasn't sure. I prayed about it and days later, in the middle of a real "low" spot, while I was doing laundry and singing some of my favorite praise songs -- the obvious answer came to me. Let go and let God -- and get a LAWYER!! So, I spent a few really long days doing some research.
We hired a lawyer in the State of Washington (where my parenting plan for my oldest was filed -- hence, where the case has jurisdiction) and where we were soon going to be visiting family. I found out that I really needed to update the parenting plan (it's called that because we were never married) that was drawn up ten years ago. That it would need to provide information about how we would work things out (i.e. visitation, the cost of transportation, etc.) while I was in Japan. I also found out that I could file an Intent to Relocate with the court. And since there was a bit of resistance...and I needed a signature for my boy's passport...my lawyer suggested going to court to get the relocation approved.
So, that was a very nerve-wracking step. Hiring the lawyer and filing all of that paperwork. I prayed. I questioned all of it. I wondered, "what am I doing -- having to go to court over THIS??" I got angry over the thousands of dollars that was being spent. I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Was I handling Daziel's dad in the right way? I prayed some more. I ran through scenarios in my head -- about what if the relocation was not approved? What if my family has to be split up?
I also thought about how this was affecting my son. Was he feeling like this was his fault? He knew now that we all had our passports, but that he was still waiting on his. I talked to him about how he needed his dad's "go ahead". I tried my best to be neutral when I was talking to him about it. I tried to give him the information that his (then) eleven-year-old questions warranted without tainting it by my views or feelings and without giving him too much information. But on the flip side, I couldn't leave him hanging. He was asking questions, and he deserved some answers.
I tried, with all my motherly love, to make it all better for my boy. And it broke my heart when I could see -- in his demeanor -- that it was hurting him. And that...that hurt me! I prayed more and more. I didn't know why this obstacle was in my path, but I prayed for the courage and strength to go through it all.
This move was so stressful, and my anxiety level was rising. We saw Killian for the last time and said very sad "see you soon"'s to him. As we traveled from Alabama to Wisconsin...from warm weather to snow...I was met with even more hurdles...the anniversary of my step-dads death, saying hello's and then shortly after, goodbye's, to family...things that would normally be hard. Stressful. But with everything else on my plate, it all seemed to be such a huge weight. So hard to deal with. Such a heavy burden.
Despite, I tried my best to keep a positive attitude. To be happy for my family while we were traveling. To not let the stress get to me. I look back now, and I don't know that I always succeeded.
During the weeks leading up to our court date... the date set to see if the judge would grant me, a military wife, permission to move my son to the Air Force Base in Japan that my husband had been assigned to... my stomach was in knots. I was beginning to see physical sings of the stress that I was enduring. It wasn't good.
I don't know exactly how I made it through that hard month of sleepless nights. Yes... I do. The Grace of God. Because He doesn't give us anything that we cannot handle. Because eventually, in there, I was able to take some deep breathes and know that I no longer had control. That there wasn't anything more I could do about it, and that the outcome was going to be what it was going to be.
On my way into the courtroom on that March morning, just days before our scheduled flight to Japan, the knots in my stomach started to return. So over and over in my head I recited The Serenity Prayer. As cliche as it may seem, it was helpful. The repeated...
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
It helped. As I sat in that courtroom...my mom and my husband by my side... with my son's father, waiting for the judge to tell us her ruling on the parenting plan and the request to relocate, I had peace before I ever even knew the outcome..
(to be continued...)
We are spending time with my dad in Northern Idaho this weekend for Father's Day. I don't think that I have spent Father's day with my dad in...14 years, or so. Although there isn't snow like this there this weekend, it was like that just a few months ago when we visited.
And, I don't think I've introduced you all to my dad before. Everyone, this is my dad, Dave. He still lives in the cabin that I grew up in. On a hill in the mountains of Idaho. And this is his girlfriend, Wanda. And my kids, of course.
So anyhow, Happy Father's Day to all you father's, dad's and daddy's out there. I hope it's a good one!! All our love is sent your way!! And a special Happy Father's Day to the best daddy I know, my husband, Craig. We miss and love you!!
I'm sorry I wasn't able to post last night. I had gotten on such a "roll" with posting every night -- it has become part of my bedtime routine. But last night we had a thunder storm, so I figured that it was best to stay off the computer. Which means, I didn't have time to write more about our PCS Purgatory...
Instead, I spent a good bit of time reading. And I happened upon this quote, which, I felt really went along with yesterday's post and what is going on in our lives right now. Which makes me think that it is probably something many of you can relate to as well, so I share:
(Picture of Colby from Summer '08, Florida Gulf Coast)
"Every one of us
is called upon, probably many
times, to start a new life.
A frightening diagnosis, a
marriage, a move, loss of a job...
And onward full tilt we go,
pitched and wrecked and absurdly
resolute, driven in spite of
everything to make good on a
new shore. To be hopeful, to
embrace one possibility after
another -- that is surely the basic
instinct...Crying out: High tide!
Time to move out into the
glorious debris. Time to take
this life for what it is."
-- Barbara Kingsolver,
FROM HIGH TIDE IN TUCSON
I had to take a break from my PCS Purgatory posts. I will get back to that soon.
I am planning on changing my blog picture and design soon. It's time. The picture that is on my banner at the top of this blog page is years old! Years, can you believe that? I'm not sure what has been holding me back, but it's long overdue. So, this evening I was browsing through pictures, trying to find a new one or two to use in my header. I wasn't successful and didn't find anything that caught my eye. What I did find (yes, I really need to spend more time organizing my digital photos) was a bunch of other precious pictures. I found the picture that you see above in the banner of this page -- and all of the other pictures that were taken on that day.
These pictures were taken in the Fall of 2006. I can't believe they are almost three years old! They were taken by my good friend, Delphine. I was just getting to know her at the time. We volunteered together at our kids' school. She was artistic and had a good eye and was willing to come with me and my family (along with her awesome camera) and do a "photo shoot". I knew she would be able to translate my vision of my family photos into something wonderful.
This year, I wanted family photos that were different than our usual studio shots. And Delphine was so willing to help me out! You know, that's something that amazes me about military wives. We get to a new base. We don't know anyone. But we're willing to jump in, meet people, reach out our hands, open up our hearts, and do nice things for each other.
I was so very fortunate that during the four years that we lived in Montgomery -- while we were at Maxwell AFB -- that I was able to make so many great friends. Friends like Delphine.
I look at these pictures now and feel so blessed! Blessed that months after meeting me and my family, she was willing to tag along with us as we walked and talked, as we goofed around and spent family time...willing to document it. Our lives. Us being us.
These pictures are some of my most favorite and treasured. And looking at them not only makes me miss the south, that base, the city of Montgomery...
but it makes me miss so much more.
I loved where I was at in my life in Montgomery. I had a wonderful group of friends that uplifted me and helped me to grow! I had a supportive and inspirational church family.
I liked how I had my house decorated and organized. I loved my yard. I enjoyed my neighbors. I loved the school the kids were going to and the friends they had. We loved the activities they were involved in...their swim team, their scout troop, their ball league.
So, lately, during this whole moving mess -- I've been irked by something. Something was said to me about this move that just crawled under my skin. It was said that this move is for "our convenience". I don't think anything else has gotten to me more then when I was told that.
Now, are we moving because of my husband's career; is this move going to be beneficial to him in that way? Why, yes, it is. It's that very career and sacrifices that we, military families make, that help to ensure freedoms...even for those people who think our life is convenient.
Will we get to Japan and have great experiences there? Well, I sure do hope so! Will we have wonderful opportunities and make new, wonderful friends? I'm sure we will! Because we have to. That's a part of this military life that we live. But, that doesn't mean that it's easy. It doesn't mean it's always by choice. And in my opinion, it is never "convenient".
It's not convenient to explain to your children why we have to constantly move on. They get it, they try to understand...and we try our best to continue to be a close-knit family so that reality isn't as hard for them to endure. But it's still not convenient.
Literally packing up a house in Alabama and moving it to Japan -- yeah, soooo not convenient. The logistics of what to take, what to leave, what to give away...what to pack for the plane, how to even get all of us (kids, dog, 12 pieces of luggage) on the plane. Yep, you got it, not convenient.
But here's the thing. Even though it's not convenient, we do it willingly. With an adventurous spirit and an eager attitude. Because we are optimistic and we try to make the best of the opportunities (good, bad, or ugly) that this military life throws our way. How else would we handle it? Kicking and screaming the whole way because Japan isn't where we wanted to go? Nope. Because that wouldn't do anybody any good -- we have to go to Japan. So we make the decision to do it willingly. However, willingly is different than convenient.
Saying those goodbyes to our church, neighbors, classmates and teachers, sports teams, scout troops, and all the good friends we made? Good friends like Delphine? I'd say that is by far the most difficult thing about the military way of life. Because goodbye's are not convenient.
If you missed part 1 and would like to read it, click here.
I am realizing that talking about this with all of you is therapeutic. So before I start, I want to say, thanks for listening (or reading). And if you can really make it through all of this drivel, a really big thank you!
Ok, so where were we? Oh yeah...the passport...and about how we thought that things were going to go according to planned. How we had hoped that things would be stress-free. As much as a move from Alabama to Japan -- with three kids (Killian lives with his mom, remember), a dog, and a month of visiting family on the way -- could be. But then, things began to turn upside down, and inside out...and suddenly...they were spinning...
How did all that spinning begin? Hmmnn...In order to PCS (move) to an overseas location in the military, we are required to have a military passport. This differs from a regular tourist passport in that the regular passport allows you to visit a country for 90 days. A military passport allows us to live in that country for as long as we are on orders to be there.
Before we left Montgomery to move to Japan, we had to work on getting our military passports. This takes some time, as passports usually do, so we applied for them well before we left Alabama so we wouldn't have to worry. When we applied for the kids' passports, though, they told us that it may take a bit longer to get them for our oldest boys. Why? Because they each have a different parent, and that they would need to consent too.
Ok -- we thought optimistically; this shouldn't be too difficult. We thought that both Killian's mother and Daziel's father would be pretty agreeable. We were asking that Killian come to Japan during his visiation times... he had come all the way to Washington from Georgia when we were stationed at Fairchild AFB. And that wasn't a problem then. And we were planning to have Daziel move with us (as he has always done), and come back to the states when it was his time to see his father. In my mind, it was not too much different, really, than living across the country. It wouldn't change that we weren't close enough for every-other weekend type of things, and visitation would be able to happen just as frequently.
So, we thought that everyone would be ok with that. Why would there be an objection? I mean, this move is because of the military. It's not like it's a whim or because of some crazy, fly by the seat of our pants kind of thing. It is a military move, we have orders, and when it comes down to it... not much of a choice.
So contact was made in an effort to get the signatures the we needed for the older boys' passports. And understandably there were concerns, questions, and some resistance. We were moving thousands of miles away. We were no longer just going to be across the country, we were going to be across the globe.
We encouraged discussion from our exes -- that questions about the move, the base, about the schools and kids programs should be asked. I was happy to answer them. I had to answer them for my kids everyday. I had to research it for myself, too, when I needed reassurance and reminders about why we were uprooting our family and moving to the other side of the world. Eventually Killian's mother signed the paperwork. We cheered and said hurray -- one more hurdle in the midst of this mountainous move had been overcome.
We patiently waited for questions to come from Daziel's father. We waited for concerns to be discussed. We talked to the kids and got them excited about this move. Excited because of the awesome culture we'd get to experience, that the Japanese island of Okinawa has so many great things to do... that we'd be living by lots of beaches, and who doesn't love beaches? We discussed how we are a military family, and this is what we do. We talked about how we're grateful to have each other. And we tried our best not to dwell on the fact that we were leaving friends, scout troops, sport teams, and a community that we loved. We tried our best to look on the bright side.
Then...we waited. For those questions and concerns to come rolling in. For some dialogue about how our blended family was going to make this work. We kept waiting and waiting...and while we waited... packers came and boxes were filled. Moving trucks were loaded and rooms were painted. Good times were cherished, the rest of our passports came in, goodbye's were sadly said, and our travels began. Because...we were on orders.
And still, the questions never came. I tried to have sympathy and understanding, but time was running short. My son needed a passport to go to Japan, and he didn't have one. The spinning...it was getting faster.
So I freely gave information. I emailed websites about anything I could think of that may have held answers to where the silent opposition lay. We signed up for skype and vonage so we'd have many ways to communicate from abroad. But still...nothing but the response that things still had to be figured out. That consent was not given for us to move to Japan with his son; permission was not yet granted. There was no discussion, no dialogue, no trying to compromise or figure it out. And why, I cannot exactly say... lots of water under the bridge. I will not begin to place blame here, but I will say that I felt sad. Sad that this is what our parental relationship had been reduced to. Sad that we didn't communicate much, and when we did, it wasn't well.
I was also sad for my family, that the workings of the stereotypical "blended family" was raring it's ugly head. That it looked like there may be a kink in the plans. I was especially sad for Daziel... that his biological parents couldn't communicate. I was sad that he knew that everyone else had a passport except for him.
I felt backed into a corner. I didn't know what to do. What were our options? If Daziel didn't have a passport, he couldn't go to Japan. And I...I couldn't go to Japan without my son...
(to be continued)
*Pictures are from our family vacation to Disney World last Christmas.
First off -- a few clarifications. I need clarifications because without them, my mind is hazy and I can't think strait. So clear mind; hopefully clear thoughts.
(Our stuff nearly all packed in Alabama -- February, 2009.)
So to clear it up for those of you who aren't familiar to military acronyms, PCS means Permanent Change of Station. My husband, Craig, is in the Air Force and we are in the middle of PCSing (or, moving) from our last base in Alabama to his new duty station in Okinawa, Japan. And just so you know, it is not normal for a PCS to take this long. We are the exception, not the rule.
Another thing I'd like to clarify is -- that I'm Catholic. I'm not poking fun or making jokes when I call this our PCS Purgatory. I do chuckle a bit at my "inside joke". But really, some people have been calling this our PCS from hell, or have been telling me that I am in PCS hell. But really, I'm a bit more optimistic than that. Hell seems so...so horrible and sad and hot and miserable. Hell seems so damned and definite, so final. That's not what this "journey" has been like. At different times it has been trying, unexpected, frustrating, difficult, and even a bit painful. But in the end, I know that there will be a good outcome because I am faithful, hopeful, and ever the optimist.
That is how I relate this PCS to purgatory; because it's been a longer process than expected. We thought there wouldn't be any hangups and we'd just get to where we are going (Japan) without an issue -- without having to "do time". Obviously, that was not the case. But even though it hasn't been, and this move has been emotional and hard at times, I believe that it's all happened with a purpose. We -- my family -- have had some hard lessons to learn. But when it's all over and done and we are on the other end talking about this PCS, we will be feeling very blessed. Blessed to be back together again -- as one family. Blessed to have gone through this eye opening experience because it has given us a greater appreciation for many things. And as a Catholic, that too is what I believe that purgatory is about. I'm not going to preach about that, because really, I wouldn't do it justice. But if you're curious, I think this article explains it really well.
Ok, enough of that -- lets start this thing...
I'm going to start by telling you what's current; the news of the hour. I just booked our flight yesterday, and the kids and I will OFFICIALLY be flying to Japan on July 5th.
Now, lets back up. We (with Craig) originally left Alabama on February 19th to begin our trek across the country. We thought that we would spend a month traveling to visit family. We would drive to Wisconsin to visit Craig's family and then to the Northwest to visit mine. Our thought was that that would take a month, then we'd be off -- on our mary little way -- to Japan. Together. As one big happy family.
So, have you ever had a time in your life where you had plans -- and they got TOTALLY turned upside down, inside out, and then rung out? Well, yeah! That's what happened with us and this move...
Craig did leave for Japan when we had originally planned that we all would. He had to. He was on military orders and had to "report to duty" -- because that's the way the military works. He left here on March 19th, which means he has been in Japan for almost three months. Three months without us. Three months alone, in a new country, apart from his family.
Why didn't we go? Why did the kids and I have to stay in the states?
Well, it all begins with...a passport...
(to be continued tomorrow)
No, I'm not going OUT on a date -- I finally know the date that the kids and I will be flying to Japan to join Craig, my valuable husband, their dynamic daddy, that man we've really been missing -- in that house that really needs to be unpacked.
So...the news we've all been waiting for, (drum roll please)...
we will officially be flying to Japan on July 5th. We are so happy that we finally see "a light at the end of the tunnel"!!! We're so happy that we will soon be together again.
I also know that I can't leave it at that. Many of you have asked me questions about our move to Japan. You've emailed. Called. Left me messages on Facebook. So, I know you've got inquiring minds. Either because you love us and are concerned -- or because you're human and want to hear the drama. Whichever the case...
For the most part I've been steering clear of posting too many details and too much information about what's been going on regarding this whole move on my blog. Why? For a few reasons. Because I think that not everyone wants to hear about it and because I wonder, is it really something I should be talking about?
But the more you all ask, and the more I have to tell the story over and over , or avoid saying it over and over -- the more I realize... there's nothing wrong with telling it. There's nothing wrong with me talking about what's going on in my life. That it's my crazy life, and maybe someone can learn something from my story. That it's my beautiful life, and that over the last several months, I have learned a thing or two -- or ten, because of what's been going on. And by sharing it, maybe you can learn something from it too...
(Because the "story" is so long, I will be breaking it into a few different posts starting tomorrow -- so stay tuned.)
You asked, you got it...
This friends, is a picture that Craig emailed me. Apparently when it rains on the island of Okinawa, Japan -- where I will soon be living along with my husband -- these come out in full force. Now, since I'm not there and have yet to witness one of these lovely creatures first hand, I have no idea how big it is. But in my humble opinion, it looks big enough!
This friends, is also the picture that had Craig disappointed yesterday. Disappointed that I did not add it to yesterday's post about our house. I don't know -- for the most part -- I try to make things flow and make them relevant here on this blog. And I don't know about you, but randomly adding this picture of the snail didn't make sense to me. But maybe it would have for you, so I'm sorry for making assumptions and for leaving out our little slimy snail friend. I meant no harm, nor did I mean to discriminate in any way, shape, or form. All snails are welcome here!
This friends, is also the picture of the snail that my dear husband has been infatuated with over the last couple of days. Seriously! He emailed it to me on the same day that I posted this about him. I asked him if he'd seen all the pictures I'd put of him on my blog "for the whole world to see". He said, "yeah, yeah, that was nice, but did you SEE that picture of the snail I sent you!?! That snail was..." at which point I took a deep breath, tried not to roll my eyes, and came to the same conclusion I come to at least seven times a week -- that he and our six-year-old son are two peas in a pod. Harrumph. Men! (Wink, wink -- I love them both dearly!)
Yes, we are in the middle of moving to Japan. My hubby, Craig, is already there. He left in March and has been working hard since he got there. Mostly 12 hour shifts...if he's lucky. And, he's worked alot of weekends too. When he's not working, which is rarely, he is usually sleeping, doing laundry -- you get the drill. He has had the chance to do a little wandering around though. Here is a picture he took and emailed to me. Doesn't the water look gorgeous?
I can't wait to see that water!! So my darling husband is in Japan enjoying that water, and I am still in the states because we were waiting on a passport...blah, blah, blah...and I'm still not there. (More on that in a later post.)
My dear husband was able to get our house on base assigned to him, which is a good thing! Otherwise, he would have spent the last three months living in a hotel. Another good thing is that our household goods (in other words -- all our STUFF) has been delivered. And, he's bought a van for us to drive while we're there. Did I mention, he's been busy!?!
So, yep, that is the front of our house. And our van. I can't wait to get there, to take my own pictures...to plant a flower, or two (or ten).
I also can't wait to get ahold of that house. Because...you see...since my dear and lovely husband has been so busy with work -- AND -- because he knows that painting and decorating and organizing is my domain, he hasn't really painted, unpacked or organized much. If anything. Well, I guess I should give him credit where credit is due. He has unpacked what he has needed. (i.e. - his clothes, bed, bathroom, kitchen). And I'm not mad. I'm not hating. I'm really actually ok with it. Because I understand that he hasn't had the time...and because I am the kind of girl who likes her house a certain way.
And, I actually appreciate that Craig has left the house pretty much untouched. Because getting to paint, unpack, and organize is my way of getting settled into a new home on a new base. (Yes, I said getting to paint, unpack, and organize instead of having to...it's all in the way we look at it, right?) So, I'm looking forward to getting my house all unpacked and put away the way I want to do it. Call me an organizing freak, but I look forward to organizing the closets, labeling the fridge, and just figuring out how ALL of our things will best fit in our quaint (translated to charming, but LITTLE) house. It gets me all giddy and excited, just thinking about it. (Yes, I know, nerd alert!)
And because I love you and can't hold out on you (and because I know I don't have to take full responsibility for the mess you're about to witness), I am going to share with you some pictures of my house in Japan. Yes, that house that I have yet to see or step foot in...but please don't judge. It's not pretty. It is still in the...in the middle of unpacking, I am only being taken care of by one hard working man, my momma ain't here yet...stage.
And...one more thing. After you see these -- I bet you will be seriously itching to see my "after" pictures!!
Our House in Japan-- BEFORE the Charity touch (Pictures by Craig)
Living Room (I think.)
O
Craft/Computer Room (I think)...which is just on the other side of the Living Room (I think) which is at the back of the house (I think).
Yes, this is my home, folks. Doesn't it look lovely?
And, yes, I actually am looking forward to getting there. Why do you ask?
So that was The Kitchen (yep, I'm pretty positive about this one).
And this is The Dining Room (I think).
Now, lets go upstairs. And yes, I am certain that these are The Stairs!
Now, on to The Bedrooms. We have four bedrooms in this house, and I'm pretty sure that this one is The Master Bedroom (I think).
On second thought, I'd like to make a minor change. I don't like the idea of calling this meager room The Master Bedroom. So, from now on, it's going to be called Our Room. (I had debated calling it My Room, but I thought Craig would feel left out.) So, that was Our Room. And by the way, thanks for understanding.
Now, lets go see the rest of the bedrooms.
So, these are the rooms that will belong to my boys. Yep, you got it. These are The Boys' Rooms (I think).
Wait -- oops -- that room belongs to the darling daughter in this family.
This one too -- it's Allyssa's Room (I'm pretty sure).
Ok, so we do have a couple of bathrooms and a storage room. But my lovely husband didn't send those pictures along -- I know -- as if you wanted to see them anyhow.
So, here is what I ask of you, dear friends and loyal readers. Please, when I finally DO get to Japan, remind me that I WAS excited to get there and to unpack. Remind me that I kept talking about loving to paint, and organize, and decorate. When I get there and turn in circles and look at the chaos and the boxes and the mess, remind me that I told you that I was "giddy" about getting to deal with this. When I cry and wonder WHY, remind me, ok? OK!?! Ok...thanks!
So that's it folks. That's our house in Japan, BEFORE I've laid my hands on it.
Now, I'll show you out..
Oh yeah, I forgot to ask, anyone want to come help me unpack? Anyone? I'll take you to see that gorgeous water...
in the northwest.
Yep, that's hail!
(*Picture stolen from my sister's camera while she wasn't looking -- shhhh, don't tell her.)
hard working,
handsome husband.
(Yes, a very old picture -- but one of my most favorites!!)
I miss my ball playing,
ball coaching,
fanatical fan of a man.
He's in Japan. I'm not. And for all the times in our ten years of marriage that we've been separated because of military orders in some way, shape, or form...we've gotten used to "dealing" with being apart. And I'd have to say, that for the most part, we handle it pretty ok.
But there are some days when I really miss his
sarcasm (and his toned tan)
his helpfulness (and his buff biceps)
his goofiness (and even his weekend stubble).
I try my best in times like these, when we have to be apart, to be the strong military wife. For our kids. For him. And even for myself. And most days I deal with it by not talking about how much I miss him. By not browsing through pictures or reminiscing about how he's
an awesome father
an outstanding daddy,
and a funny family man.
Yet, other times, it is best if I spend some time remembering how much I love him because he's...
a good sport,
a great coach,
and a ridiculously devoted fan -- of this family.
So on days like today, when the only thing I really want is a hug from my husband...
I look back at tons of old pictures and...
I miss my man.
Pictures for this post are from our trip to Disney World this last Christmas, one of the last times we were all together...
Today, our son Killian -- Craig's son Killian -- my step-son Killian -- ok, we just went over this a few days ago...our son Killian, turn's twelve. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KILLIAN!!!
We normally have Killian on his Birthday because he's usually with us for visitation during his summer break. But, considering circumstances, we're not all together right now. Craig's in Japan. Killian's in Georgia with his mom. And me and the rest of our crew are in the northwest. Which kind of stinks. No Birthday Breakfast. No big celebration. Craig told me when he called today that he tried to call to wish Killian a Happy Birthday earlier, but he wasn't home. Hopefully that means he was out celebrating.
If we were all together -- we'd be celebrating!! It stinks that we're not all together. It stinks when we miss out on important days with Killian!
So what I'd like to say today is...
Killian, we miss you! We love you!! And, Happy Birthday!!!
r
I love this picture for a few different reasons. I love that my mother is looking so beautiful in her purple shirt. I love that she is so obviously happy to be with her dear friend, Judy. And I love that dear friend, who was my Mom's best friend growing up, our neighbor, and the mother to my best friend. Judy is so much a part of my past, my history, my growing up. So seeing these two women together, like they were two weekends ago, like they were all through my childhood...it warmed my heart. They hadn't seen each other in, what, ten or more years??
My mom spent the weekend with Judy while I spent the weekend at my dad's, just a trail-walk away. I don't think my Mom has been back up to the cabin where my dad lives in over a decade. The cabin that she and my older sisters helped to build over thirty years ago. That cabin that she had to leave.
When we left that Idaho mountain the summer that I was nine, when we were saying goodbye to Judy, I remember her telling me that my mom was taking me on a "journey". Oh what a journey it has been. I'm not about to go into that tonight, but it's a journey that has shaped me in so many ways.
All I know is that seeing these two women together, two women that mean so much to me, in the place that seeing them together seems so natural and carries with it so many memories...it evokes alot of emotion.
And the strangest thing about it is...do you see what is behind them? Behind my Mom and Judy? Well, of course you see the brilliant blue sky and the pine trees that let you know they are in the mountains. But, do you see those poles? Do you have any clue what they might be? Those, my friends, are teepee poles. Yes, teepee, as in, what the American Indians used to live in.
I didn't plan to take their picture right there in front of those poles. I caught these two lovely ladies walking up the trail from Judy's and wanted a picture of them together, arm in arm, smiling. But it's perfect that they just so happened to be standing in front of those teepee poles. Why? What's the significance to them, you ask? Well, because that teepee is what my family lived in, on top of this mountain in Idaho, as they built the log cabin that my father still lives in, today. That was in 1979, the year that I was born. And those poles are from the teepee, where, with the aid of a midwife and my older sisters, my mother gave birth to me. Yep, folks, that's where I was born. Not in a hospital, or even in a house. Nope, not me. I was born on top of that mountain. In a teepee. With my mom's friend, Judy, right next door.
Colby had been sent to our room (the guest room we're staying in at my sister's) to "think about" what he'd just done. I came in after about ten minutes and found him doing this... gazing out the window. He didn't want to talk. He apparently had some heavy thinking going on. What could a six-year-old be pondering, contemplating, reflecting on? Could he really be thinking about what he'd just done to his sister? Or was he thinking that I'm the meanest mom around? Or maybe he was actually thinking about what I'd told him when I sent him to time-out and was trying to figure out, to rationalize in his little head, how to put an end to bad behavior. Or... perhaps I'm a dreamer and that's wishful thinking...and he was just looking at the guy next door mowing his lawn.
But wait...when you look out this bedroom window, you can't see the lawn next door. And there wasn't a guy mowing his lawn. What you see is a line of hedges. So that can't be it, right? Right!?! So...what do you suppose my boy was thinking? Come on, I want to hear what you think my serious six-year-old was thinking.
Errrhh...ummm..wait...on second thought. Maybe I don't.
This is my niece, Sarah.
Sarah Grace. (I love her name!!!)
She loved the Slip 'N Slide at my boy's birthday party.
I loved that she loved the Slip 'N Slide at my boy's party!
Watching her love it was my entertainment.
So I watched her through my lens for a bit.
I watched how much she was obviously loving life and let the lens tell a story.
Which put a smile on my face and made me grateful.
Grateful for my nimble niece,
Sarah, full of Grace.
Two weekends ago my oldest child, my first born, my very first baby boy turned twelve.
As a parent, watching your children grow -- and grow -- and grow is a bit bittersweet. I would even venture to say it can be hard. I remember holding my babies, and watching them toddle around, and their first this and their first that...their first day of school. So having to endure my son's 12th Birthday when I still remember his 1st very vividly...yep, you got it! Hard.
What made it even harder was that we were in the middle of this move to Japan. So, my poor boy was away from his friends that he's had for the last four years. And yes, as we always try to remember, 'tis the way of military life. And we try not to complain. But sometimes it is hard. So, especially because of that -- because of being in transition, I didn't want the day to just come and go without a bang! We are in the middle of moving and I wanted to make it special. I wanted Daziel to know that our traditions and our family is what we make it, no matter where we go.
So I asked Daziel what he wanted to do on his special day. He of course wanted his Birthday Breakfast -- because that is a tradition in our family. No matter what day we celebrate your birthday and have your party, no matter if it's a big party or just dinner with a friend, we always, always, start your actual birthday out with a special Birthday Breakfast. Whatever you want it to be, whether that is pancakes with m&m's and cool whip... or what Daziel requested this year... eggs benedict perfected by Uncle Darold.
When I was planning what else we'd do for the rest of Daziel's birthday, I was a bit surprised by his reaction. I offered to take him to Silverwood, a theme park not too far from here. I told him we could take him to play laser tag, or to go fishing...but my boy, he just nodded and with a ho-hum little voice he said "yeah, whichever will be ok". So I thought, and I talked to my boy, and I thought some more. What was making him so glum? He finally told me he was bummed about not getting to spend his birthday with my husband, Craig. You see...Craig was gone last summer too -- he was deployed for four months. So my boy was bumming about that...and who can blame him? This whole moving and being away from the ones you love kind of stinks. But, Craig's already in Japan, we're here, there wasn't much I could do about that.
So, I thought and thought some more...about my boy and what he was feeling. And I thought of another option for his birthday, an option I was a bit hesitant to suggest.
You see, we are staying with my sister Angela -- who just so happens to live in the same town as Daziel's father. So, I worked up the courage and I set my feelings aside -- I asked Daziel if he'd like us to have a family barbecue with his dad and all his dad's family. His eyes lit up, he smiled and said "yeah!". So, I went about planning it out. Daziel and I even sat down one evening to plan it out with his father. Because even though his father and I aren't best buds, and even though we've had some very major disagreements that were/are being worked out... I thought it was still very important for us to wave a white flag, to call a truce, and to throw a party -- together -- for our son. So Daziel could see us working together for him. We hadn't done a party together for Daziel since his 3rd Birthday. I wasn't so sure that I was up to it. But I was sure it was what my boy wanted -- so that's what he got!
He got to spend the day with all of us (who could make it on such short notice) together...with his father...
with his beautiful grandma, who I love so much! (And even though it's been 12 1/2 years since I've dated her son, I have a feeling she loves me too. As she walked into the backyard, she was carrying two huge trays of her homemade enchiladas. And as she was giving me a great big hug, she told me that she made them especially because she remembers that they were my favorite -- gosh, I really do love her!!)
He got to spend the day with his uncle -- who -- wow! Doesn't he look so much like!?!!
Daziel got to have his wonderful aunts there. It's funny, because I really love his father's family. I was a part of their family for the 2-ish years that we dated. And it was nice to see them and to visit with them for an afternoon. It was nice to see how we could all come together for the same goal ...
to slip and slide...
to do a pinata "the right way"...
to scramble for the candy (as I was showing my mom these pictures, she remarked about how much I look like Daz's grandma in these pictures -- weird)...
to enjoy the yummy mexican candies inside of it..
which was followed by a special cake made by Uncle Darold and decorated by Aunt Angie, and cousin, Bethany.
That day was all about making sure that a very special "little" boy felt very, very loved!!
I think most of you know by now know that Craig and I have four kids. His, mine, and ours. Really, we don't really think of it that way. As a matter of fact, I think we both just think "we have four kids". And we do. In our hearts, we do. But when it comes to some of the logistics of running this family, our holidays and vacations, our family pictures, how our hearts always feel like there's something missing when one of our kids isn't with us, the legal hurdles we have to jump over visitation, child support, moving and passports -- sometimes, it's not that easy -- because we're blended.
(Pictures from our last family photo shoot in November of last year.)
A "blended" family...what does that really mean, anyhow? Are we the modern day Brady Bunch? Well, kind of -- but not quite! I'm definitely not nearly as perky as Carol Brady and unfortunately, we don't have an Alice. What it means is that sometimes life is a bit more difficult. And because I've had lots of questions lately about how we manage our blended family (I think the circumstances of this move have spawned many of those questions), I figured I'd start a new category here on this blog entitled "Beautifully Blended". Now, don't be deceived, folks. Because sometimes, it's not easy to manage, and sometimes, it doesn't feel so beautiful. But when we reflect back on the lessons we have learned, and the lives we live, we have to embrace what we've got...four beautiful children.
This "section" won't be all peaches and cream, because a blended family isn't. To be honest, this section will probably be more like lemons and cream -- which can still be tasty, but is a bit sour too. This section will probably be from a deeper place in me, a place you all don't get to see (read) about that often, but I'm just trying to keep it real. It's a bit exposing and a little scary to share it on here because some of it, let's face it folks, is heart-wrenching, crappy kind of stuff. Thanks ahead of time for understanding, or at least trying to. Having a blended family is not what either Craig or I had planned when we thought of having a family many years ago. Being "step-parents" and constantly dealing with exes isn't always a walk in the park. But it is what it is. It's our crazy life, and we try to make the best of it. I hope that my sharing this with you will give you a little insight, or be helpful in some way. If nothing else, it will maybe clear up a few questions you've had about us. And hopefully you'll see how we try our hardest to take these lemons and make lemonade.
And just in case you don't already know, let me introduce to you the "ingredients in our blender"...
Daziel is my son who just turned 12, he lives with us and has visitation with his dad. He is a quiet introvert, until you get to know him. When you do and he's "warmed up", he livens up -- a bit. He likes to joke around, make you laugh, and give bear hugs. He lives on cloud 9 alot of the time which doesn't help him much when it comes time to get his homework done, but it definitely makes him a "dreamer". He's artistic, musical and an awesome big brother! He loves computers and video games and in our house, he is affectionately known as the "tech geek", a name he is proud to own. He's my kid that complains the least, easily goes with the flow, and does what he's told, even when he doesn't want to do it. (Unless, of course, he didn't hear ya 'cause he's on that cloud again.) That's my oldest, and we call him Daz.
Killian is Craig's son who will be 12 next week. He lives with his mom in Georgia and we try to see him as much as we possibly can. When we can't, we miss him terribly! He's shy too, until you get to know him. He likes to joke around too (could this just be their age?) and has a very sarcastic sense of humor. Killian likes to play sports and is always willing to pull out a skateboard , jump on a pogo stick, or do flips on the trampoline. He's mature beyond his years and already, neighborhood girls come over to play more often when he's around. He's Craig's oldest and we call him...as much as we can 'cause we miss him!
Allyssa and Colby are "ours" and they're with us all the time. Unless, of course, I have any offers out there. Anybody? Anybody? I'm willing to negotiate!! What? No takers!?!!! Ok good, 'cause I was just teasin' anyhow!
So this, this is Allyssa who will be ten in September. She's our only girl (who just looked over my shoulder and said "I liked those shoes!!"), so yes, she's a little bit girlie! She likes cute shoes, sunglasses and lipgloss. She's an overachiever who is precocious and witty, but she also has three brothers so she's got a bit of a "tom boy" burried in her too. She likes sports and climbing trees. She loves to swim, run, and play soccer. She loves to draw, do skits, listen to music and she's a good friend! She's my partner in organization and getting things done, our own little mother hen, and has been accused of being like her mother a time or two. (Boy do I hope she thinks that's a compliment!) She's our only girl, who her daddy calls "baby" (I'm not sure if he's ever even watched Dirty Dancing -- should I warn him?).
Last, but definitely not least, is our soon to be seven-year-old, Colby. He is truly our baby, but don't ever let him hear you say it! He's filled with an outgoing energy that makes you want to strangle him and roll on the floor laughing every time he comes up with one of his antics. He's a true boy in every sense of the word -- he loves dirt, fast cars, airplanes, and sports, sports, sports!! And funny enough, he never ceases to tire out! Everyone says he looks just like his dad, to which he proudly answers, "yep, I'm his twin...but shorter!". When he was going through his terrible two's I would say to people (out of his earshot, of course) that had he been my first child, he would have been my only. God knew what he was doing bringing him along last! He's a handful, for sure, but he's so dang funny we forgive him for it. And believe it or not, this little chap, at times, can be my cuddliest child too! Life with Colby is never boring, and he's the kind of person you don't easily forget. We call him hauss, monster, bubba...I think you get the picture.
So that's them -- OUR four children. His, mine, but mostly, ours!!
My oldest, Daziel, turned 12 today.
Twelve years ago, I was seventeen. Having him changed my life forever... and I would not change it for anything. Twelve years later, I hope I'm making as much of a difference in his life as he has made in mine.
I love you Daziel, Happy Birthday!!!
Through this journey my family has been on over the last few months, you've heard me say the word "sister' a few times. And you may be wondering how many sisters I actually have. Well... I am blessed to have five wonderful sisters!! Over the next few weeks, I will introduce them all to you, in no particular order, except for who's on my heart. Enjoy this episode of "Sisters".
Earlier this month, the kids and I were in Battle Ground visiting my little sister...
Alisha. (Who is actually my little step-sister. But I don't like to call her that, because I just don't like the word "step" -- it sound so mean. And maybe that's because I think of Cinderella.) But anyhow, while I was there visiting Alisha, I was impressed with so many things!! First off, that she lives out in the country in a house all by herself. Ok, so her Uncle does live on the same piece of property. But, she goes to sleep out in the country all by herself. And she's only 22 -- and she's not even afraid!
I was impressed with the view from her front porch! It was so pretty and perfect with the plush green grass, the white picket fence, and Mt. Saint Helen's off in the distance.
I was impressed with the view from her back porch as the sun was setting...
The perfect blend of pinks and blues in the sky. The way the trees frame it out.
But mostly while I was there, I was impressed with my little sister.
She has grown up so much from that little girl I met when I was thirteen. That was the year that my mom married her dad and I gained two little sisters...something I had always wanted! She was six. My Colby's age. And she was cute. And sometimes she was not. And now...she is growing up. She's got a good head on her shoulders. She's in college and will graduate next year. She's focused and has an awesome GPA. She volunteers for CASA and she is going to go to Law School and fight for children's rights. She keeps her house clean and her laundry caught up and she cooks for herself. She doesn't go out and party alot, nope, she does her homework instead. She took my kids each separately after dinner on three different nights into town for dessert and to pick out a Mother's Day gift...for me. She touched my heart with her kindness. By how much she has grown. By how I was able to hold such grown up conversations with her. And by how much I got to know her as the woman she has become.
Even though she's no longer a little girl, she's still my little sister. And I sure am enjoying the view!
This boy of mine, my youngest... Colby?
(Picture courtesy Allyssa's camera -- yes, I'm a photo thief. :-)
Yeah, well, he has had a movie obsession for a while. Not in a horrible way (I don't think). I mean, he's very active and loves to play outside and is by no means a couch potato...but...he loves to watch movies. And he has an obsessive tendency to want to watch the same move over...and over...and over...(you get my point). For months on end, as much as he can (which means daily if I'd let him), until he's over it. Then he moves on to his next theatrical fixation.
It began with Finding Nemo before he turned two. Then Dumbo. Then...well, he's moved on to much bigger and better things. Like...Tom Cruise and airplanes. Yep, for the last few months his favorite movie has been Top Gun. He even got a Build-A-Bear a while back that he named Goose and dressed in a white navy uniform, complete with aviator glasses. (All his idea, I'm not kidding!)
So, for the past few months, Colby has been walking around doing things like...asking us to call him Maverick. And telling us that he wants to be a Navy pilot. Not things that are too off base for my military brat. Things that we find quite cute, actually.
But the cutest thing of all? Well, besides when he wanders out to see what I'm doing every time there is a "smooching scene"? The funniest thing was tonight, when we were watching the finale of American Idol...
He was cuddled up next to me watching the show, and with the most serious look on his face he said, "Mom, you know what I want to do when I grow up BEFORE I become a Navy pilot?" And without leaving room for me to utter a word, he continued, "I want to be an American Idol. Then I can be an Idol Pilot!"
I think he was referring to Auto Pilot. But hey, he's six -- and really -- it's all just semantics, right? What do I think about it? I think the world is his oyster! I say, Colby, be who you wanna be. Do what you wanna do. And if being and Idol Pilot is your dream? Then so be it!!
So...do you ever do something drastic when you need a change? Or when life gets too mundane? Or stressful? Or because you're tired and hot and PMSing? (Sorry guys!) Well, yesterday, my darling daughter, Allyssa, and I went and got haircuts. Not a trim, either. Like, newer, shorter cuts. Read into that what you will...
And because I knew you'd ask to see -- I went ahead and took some pictures. (Really, I'm ONLY showing you the pictures of me because my hubby will want to see them. You know I'm not a big fan of posting pictures of my big ole melon head on here.)
Ok, yeah, so...trying to take my own picture in the mirror -- yeah, not so good at that. On to Allyssa's cute new do.
Oh my GOSH doesn't this make her look grown up?? Why'd I let her talk me into it? Why?
Because she's turning ten this year, so I figure I'd better start letting her have a say in these types of decisions. But I won't let her have a say in how many pictures of her I will take.
Even when she covers her face and says "pleeeeaaaassssseee stop, I think you have plenty"...nope, not me. I don't stop taking pictures of my kiddos. Even when they beg! I like to torture them like that.
She does, however, get to have a say in what pretty little things she gets to put in her hair.
Ok, ok, I know you want a better shot of me and my new haircut. I knew you'd ask. So, I talked the kids into taking pictures for me. Here ya go.
Wowza!! So I wasn't even planning on getting it cut yesterday. But I was hot. And it was driving me nuts. And...look how dang short it is!?!!!?!! I think I'll like it much better when it grows out a bit. I might even decide to get it angled a little bit. Or...not.
And just for good measure...not that the kids aren't good at taking pictures...I asked my sister, Ange, to take a picture of me when she got home from work.
So now, for the update. Yes, we FINALLY have Daziel's passport. (Woo hoo, woo hoo. I actually did a happy dance when we got it last Friday -- my sister's dog started howling because I was making such an uproar.) We had booked a flight for this week, but now we ARE NOT flying to Japan this Thursday, the 21st as originally planned. We have to take a flight that has room for our beloved, dog, Nicholas who is much a part of our family. That flight didn't have room and we found that shipping him unaccompanied is going to just be way too expensive. So, I'm looking into a flight date of next week that will have room for the dog. So, we won't get to spend Daziel's Birthday this weekend with Craig, but we will be able to spend it with family. The poor Daz man...he is going to have to fly back to the states in about a month for his summer visitation with his Dad. I hate flying!! I hope he doesn't mind it as much as I do. I guess he'll be a pretty seasoned international traveler at the end of this assignment to Japan.
So, that's that for now. I'll update more when I know more. We're at my sister, Ange's in Cheney, until then...enjoying our new haircuts, which really means, wondering "what the heck were we thinking!???!??"
This is my brother-in-law, Darold.
He likes to cook. And he's good at it! We like to talk cooking.
This is my darling niece, Sarah Grace. She looks adorable in blue and she loves to bake! She's good at it and makes sweet, yummy treats! She wants to grow up and be a pastry chef. I'm sure you recognize my daughter, Allyssa Hope. She's usually pretty game for about anything, especially when it involves her cousins.
The story:
(Setting) The girls were in my sister's kitchen, looking like they needed something to do. Uncle Darold was in the kitchen too... surprise, surprise!
Darold: "Hey, Allyssa, do you like bakin'?"
Allyssa: "Yeah, I LOVE it!!!"
Darold: "Well, then would you girls like to bake a cake?"
Allyssa: "With BACON!?!???"
Yes, an enjoyable evening indeed! With Aunt Kimmie and Uncle Lance...and cousins Madisen and Chloe and "The Andy Griffith Show".
This week we're staying with my sister, Kim, in Portland (Oregon, not Maine). I know, I know...you are all wondering how many darn sisters I have (if you're not one of them :-) I'll fill you in on that later. Right now I want to tell you that my kids went to bed very excited tonight. Because tomorrow night Uncle Lance is taking the boys to a Portland Beavers baseball game and Kim and I are taking the girls to the mall to shop. With money they earned by setting up a spa and charging us old and aching adults $2 for massages. You know they earned bank on that one!!
Side Note: I just watched Grey's and it made me cry tonight. And I'm FAR FROM a tv crier. I don't cry at Hallmark commercials, or Lifetime movies (heck, I don't even watch those!)...I didn't even cry when I watched Marley and Me! But for whatever reason, I cried tonight. Izzy Stevens made me cry.
Anyhow, it was a very nice night...crying and all! I hope you had an enjoyable evening as well! Nighty night. Over and Out! Hasta Pasta.
So yes, I have issues. Of many kinds. In many ways. And I know that every reader to this blog could weigh in here and together you could all have a fun roast in my honor. But that really isn't necessary. Why? Yes, yes, I know it could be alot of fun. But it's not necessary for you to point out all of my neuroses because, well, I dwell on them and point them out all on my own. And I'm very good at it, actually. Thanks for asking!
So what's my point? Well, I just wanted to let you all know that sometimes I don't blog because I have issues. Do you want to know what they are? They are really silly and stupid and...stupid! But I'm sharing them with you in the hopes that you can sit me down and talk to me about these issues so I can blog more often. So you can read about my crazy crap more often. So you can stop clicking on this page and getting the same old crazy crap. I know, I know, it drives me nuts too! So...
Blogging issue one: Sometimes I don't blog because I don't have a picture to go along with my post. And I hate to post without a picture. But here is the funny thing: I have tons of pictures because I take tons of pictures all the time! So why not insert some random photos into posts that don't have pictures to go with them, you say? Ok, then, I'll do that from now on! Problem solved! Inserting a few random photos from the last few months.
Blogging issue two: Other times, like tonight, I want to blog about something. Something specific that I actually do have pictures to go with. But I don't have my camera handy to download the pictures from. Like tonight, for instance, my camera is out in my van. And guess what people? I love you!! But I'm not walking out there in the cold, while in my pajamas, to get it. Nope, not doing it! So why not post about some other random nonsense, then? So that you don't have to click on this page to read the same old random nonsense again? And then blog about that other, more specific nonsense with pictures to go with it, tomorrow? Ok, I guess I can do that too! Sheesh! I didn't realize you'd be so helpful in solving my blogging issues...problem solved! Currently posting about random nonsense.
Blogging issue three: Many other times, I'm too busy watching tv to blog. Wow, not the issue you expected? You thought I'd say I'm too busy reading to my kids or folding laundry, didn't you? Well...nope...that's not it! Because I do those things earlier in my day. And I'm a late night blogger. (Hey, I'm just being honest here.) So, as I was saying, I'm a tv watcher. That's how I wind down at night. I watch my favorite shows. Tonight -- American Idol baby (Adam! Adam! Adam!). Sorry! So, now you're telling me that since I bought myself a new laptop (yes, I did!!), and since you know that I actually like to "multitask", that I should blog while watching those shows on tv? Well, hmnnn...uughhh...errmmhhh...I guess I hadn't thought of that!! Hey, good point there! I could actually do that! Problem solved!! (You know, you're good at this!!) Ok, I am not watching tv at the moment. But the next time I post, you'll be wondering what I'm watching, I know you will!!
Blogging issue four: I like to write. I don't like to edit. I like to do things right. I don't like to edit. And to be honest, I'm not the worlds best speller. (No, I know I don't suck at it either. But I also know how often I use dictionary.com, and how often I should use it.) Yes, this blog does have spell check that I can use. But guess what? I hate using it!!! Because my children are named Daziel, Killian, Allyssa and Colby. And I blog about them alot. And guess what, ALL of their names get picked up on this stupid spell check thing! And...and...it's just darn annoying is what it is! Did I mention that I don't like to edit? And to add to all that, I use too many commas, hyphens, and ellipses...and I start sentences with the word And and But and put exclamations after EVERYTHING!! So...I don't like to edit, but because I like things done right, I can't just say "who cares" about the spelling and grammar stuff. Because it bugs me to read it, so it must bug you, right? Right!?! So, anyone out there willing to read my blog posts and then send me and nice little email to let me know what my typos are? Hmnnn..anyone good at spelling and grammar and being kind and sweet? Please don't post it in my comments, though, because that would lead to utter embarrassment! Anyone? Anyone? Ok, I got it!! I'll just have to do it. I need to get over it and edit already!! Editing now.
So that's it, folks. Those are the issues I sometimes have about blogging. Nope, it's not EVER because I don't have anything to say. I ALWAYS have something to say!!! And I thank each and every one of you for being willing to listen to all that I have to say!!! Listening to my crazy crap, my random nonsense, and tonight, to my issues! And thanks for this great conversation, too! You were a great help!!!!!
We drove to the other side of Washington on Tuesday. To Vancouver, Washington.
(We saw this on our way here...
and, well, several other mountains that look similar to this one. Do you know which mountain this is?)
So as I was saying...we traveled to Vancouver on Tuesday. Honestly, we're not even in Vancouver. We're in a town outside of Vancouver called Battle Ground. And if I want to be even more honest with you (which I do), we're not really in Battle Ground either. We're outside the city staying with my little sister, Alisha. In the country. And I don't have much Internet time out here.
I'll try to get more Internet time in the next week so I can share more fun stuff about our crazy PCS (Permanent Change of Staton for all you nonmilitary folk). In the meantime, know that we are enjoying our visit and the great outdoors by doing things like...
taking a nature hike
feeding ducks, and watching baby chicks hatch. For real. Busting out of their shells. (Hey, what numb skull forgot that camera for that one?) I hope you've been up to some exciting stuff too!
So here's the scoop. Lately, I've decided to start slowly making some changes. I'm deliberately and intentionally making time for myself so I can become healthier. In many different ways...mind, body, spirit. This last weekend, I decided that I was going to start a food journal. I want to write down what I'm eating because...well...honestly? Because lately, I often feel a lot like...
(Picture, courtesy the Safari we went on at Animal Kingdom in Disney World.)
her! (Or him.)
I think that part of my problem is that I don't think I'm totally aware of everything I eat. Sometimes I don't eat when I should and by the time I'm hungry...I'm STARVING and then eat too much. I don't drink enough water. I eat too much and need to work on portion size. Blah, blah, blah.
So this weekend, I did a little research and decided exactly how I wanted to do this food journal thing. I decided on using The Biggest Loser approach, and I did it today. So far, so good! It's helping me to be more aware of what I'm eating. And I even drank six glasses of water. Judging by how often I've ran to the bathroom, that's more than normal. So, that's good too! I've stayed within my "budgeted" calories for the day. I'm proud of myself.
Wait, there's more to it. Like icing on the cake. (Yes, I had to add that because -- well -- it just fits!) When I got on the scale this morning, I weighed 10 lbs. less than what I weighed when we left Montgomery, 2 months ago. How's that for getting a girl motivated? It worked for me!
The kicker? I'm sitting here getting ready for bed, flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch before I fall asleep. What do I decide on? I decide to watch Diners Drive Ins and Dives on the FOOD NETWORK. I'm almost drooling as I'm watching as Guy Fieri visits these diners where they make awesome food...NONE of which I would be proud to write down in my food journal.
Ok, ok, I hear you already...I'm changing the channel!! And I'll keep you posted on my quest to become healthier.
P.S. When I went on to check that my post posted (something I always do because I'm ODC like that), it shows that it posted on April 21st. But on my side of typepad, it shows the 20th like its supposed to. What do you see for the date on this post? Just curious, 'cause I"m anal like that.
Last night, after Colby had gotten sick for the third time, he was sore, tired, and was sitting on the couch looking very defeated. With a somber look on his face he turned to me and said, "Well, at least my heart is still beeping."
I'm glad too, Colby, I'm glad too.
From the mouths of babes!
Today, my friends, I could share with you about my day...about how I took the kids to Hannah Montana: The Movie, how we all liked it, and how it was much better than I thought it would be. Or, I could tell you about how I attempted to take the kids to Saturday Night Mass. How, after being there for five minutes, Daziel told me he was sick to his stomach and puked at the back door as we were hurriedly trying to find him a bathroom. My poor boy! Or, I guess I could tell you about how Colby decided to join Daziel and now both of my boys have been sick all night long.
But no -- no, no, no. I won't do that to you. I won't go into those gory details. Instead, because neither of those topics sounds exciting or enticing... (And because I was missing my husband and going through pictures from when we were in Wisconsin and happened upon some funny pictures that are much nicer than talking about puke!) Today I share with you this:
And yes, this is how we -- we who lived in the South for almost four years-- dressed in the freezing cold Wisconsin weather while we were there.
Did I mention that while we were there we stayed with Craig's sister, Tracey? His happiest sister?
Well, yeah, ok, she is his only sister...his only sibling for that matter.
But just look at that smile. Doesn't she look happy? She's always smiling! No joke, Tracey is one of the smiliest (is that a word?) people I know. Especially for pictures. Which makes me smile, and laugh, because that is SOOO the opposite of her brother. Oh, I'm not talking about the happy part. Craig can be a pretty jovial kind of fella. He just doesn't ever smile for pictures. He could be in the greatest of moods, but when a picture is taken, his smile disappears. Which means that we have a ton of pictures where Craig looks -- mad and annoyed. Which again, makes me laugh!
Do you see Tracey's daughter, our niece? That's Mariah, and her red hair is for real! I think she is one of the cutest red-heads I have ever seen!
On one of those cold, February evenings while we were visiting in Wisconsin, we took the kids out to play in the snow. Which kind of excited Craig and I, who had both grown up playing in the snow. It excited the kids too, because we hadn't seen snow in years!
Then our nephew, Matt, got out his four-wheeler. Which enticed Craig to get out a four-wheeler. And what do you do in the snow with a four-wheeler? Well, you pull a kid on a tube, of course!!
Which of course enticed me to take pictures of that kid on the tube. But these pictures, they just didn't do. So, I climbed on the back of that four-wheeler, held onto my beloved camera with one hand and tried to hold onto my beloved husband with the other.
Hold on, Colby!
Aaaah, Craig, slow down....
yes, I know he's smiling...but I'm falling...
No, he didn't slow down or stop whipping around just because I was sitting backwards on the back of that four-wheeler. He didn't slow down for Colby either.
So we lost him.
Which means that Colby wasn't smiling any more.
So Craig did what any good father would do. He consoled his son.
Then asked, "Who's next?"
Gosh I miss him!
Gosh I miss that butt!!
(Ok, ok, sorry! He's been gone for a month.)
Mostly, I'm glad that I didn't have to talk any more puke tonight!
So, since we've been on the road indefinitely, I've been homeschooling the kids.
When we pulled them out of school on February 13th, we knew they'd miss about a month. They're kind of lucky because they went to a military school and are headed to another military school... and you see, these military school's were ok with that. Not that they encourage absences. They do, however, realize that we military kind live far from our families. Which means that when we have the chance to go visit, even if it's in the middle of a move, we go visit!
So plan A, when we were originally planning this military move, was to let the kids have a month off of school. We would travel across the country visiting family, fly across the Pacific, land in Japan, and immediately enroll them in their new military school. All would be well. But you probably know as well as I do that life hardly ever allows us to use Plan A.
So about the time we were leaving Montgomery on the 13th of February, because we still didn't have Daziel's passport, I started thinking of Plan B.
Some of you may not know that the first year we lived in Montgomery I homeschooled the kids. Because of that, and our love of books,we have a nice little library of school books and games. Thankfully, in my Plan B thinking mode, I loaded up one whole suitcase of those types of things, some more relevant curriculum books, and their devotionals thinking that if I needed to, if things didn't work out as planned, I could homeschool the kids until we could make it to Japan. Ha!
The first week or two we were on the road I was pretty lax about it. I mean, we were on "vacation" and technically, I could always call it their "spring break", right? But as I saw the days on the calendar pass on with still no sign of a passport, I decided that I'd better hunker down and try to edjumicate my childrens a bit. I mean, if I didn't, they could ultimately be doomed. They could be missing an important piece of the puzzle that could wind up creating a ripple effect. And for all I know, they could end up getting held back, or forget how to read, or get to the 10th grade and realize they didn't know anything about anything...all on account of missing a month or two of school "that year we moved to Japan". Oh, I know, I know. You're telling me I'm being a little bit melodramatic with all of this. What I really didn't want is for their brains to get dusty. I didn't want them to get out of the routine and discipline of school, and really, what else was I going to do with them ALL DAY EVERY DAY if I didn't?
We homeschool wherever we are staying during the week, and this week, it just so happens that we're staying in a hotel. So this morning after learning all about the Iditarod, we moseyed our way down to the hotel laundry room.
No, I didn't have unrealistic hopes of teaching the kids the mechanical workings of these washers. I just had a week's worth of laundry to do. So I filled up every single one of these washers and then...
we read...
in the laundry room of a hotel. Because that...that is our life right now.
(Because I hate to post without a picture -- my favorite of their Christmas photos.) So I haven’t blogged in over two months….and NO, I’m not still buried in all of those boxes! We got all packed up and our stuff got loaded into crates so it could be shipped to Japan. Then we camped in our house for a week so I could paint all our walls back to Air Force white and clean for our inspection. Then we spent our very last week in billeting (the Air Forces version of an extended stay hotel) saying our goodbyes to all our wonderful friends before Craig could final out of the base. We officially hit the road on February 19th. So we spent our first night on the road somewhere in Kentucky, then headed further north to spend a night with my good friend, Kelly. Then we were off to central Wisconsin to visit Craig’s family for a few days. As we neared closer to Craig’s Wisconsin hometown, the snow got thicker and thicker. We spent a little less than a vert chilly week visiting family before we were off again. However, this time, we didn’t have the boat. Craig left that in Wisconsin so his dad could store it (or burn it, whichever he feels it really deserves). Nope, this time we rented a small U-haul trailer to make that 3-day long drive. Not nearly as red neck! Right!?!? We spent three long days on the road west. It was cold…very, very cold for our thinned-out blood. And after spending three ten-hour days on the windy, snowy interstate…driving through Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana and Idaho with three kids and a dog, we were happy to be out of the van! We were happy to have arrived without landing ourselves in a ditch somewhere! We were happy that no one had gotten car sick, or stuck gum in someone else’s hair, or cried for hours on end. We were happy to be visiting more family!
And boy, oh boy, I have never felt more red neck than when we pulled away from Maxwell AFB, Alabama! Our red Grand Caravan looked like it was going to bottom out as we pulled onto I-65 North pulling Craig’s ancient boat. (Can we really even call it a boat?) We were loaded down with the kids, the dog, and our 14 pieces of luggage. Pink and gray luggage. We had to stop a few times before we were even 50 miles out of town so Craig could readjust the bright blue tarp he had tied to cover the boat. (Ok, are you picturing all of this?) Eventually he gave up and just took the tarp off to expose all of those pretty pink and gray suitcases. Oh what a sight I’m sure we were!
Since we’ve arrived “out west”, we’ve done the rounds visiting my very large, Brady Bunch family who are spread out between Eastern Washington, Northern Idaho and Oregon. And we did this all (very happily I might add) while waiting to hear word about Daziel’s passport, which was having some hang-ups. The time came and it was nearing the 19th of March, the day we were all supposed to get on that Seattle flight to Japan. And…still no passport. So we decided that Craig would leave since he had to report by the 30th and the kids and I would spend more time with family until the passport arrived.
Fast-forward about a month and here we are. The kids and I are still “visiting” family and waiting for a passport. We’ve made the “rounds” a few times over and are trying not to wear out our welcome anywhere. (Which explains why we’re currently staying in an extended stay hotel just to let us all have a sense of -- of -- home (??) for a while) I’m home schooling the kids to keep them from falling behind. Craig has officially been in Japan for a month and in that time he’s bought an island van, signed for our house, and started unpacking because all of our things arrived. So, he’s busy working and unpacking while I’m busy visiting and schooling my kids. He bought a new toaster. I bought a new laptop. (How else would I be able to blog for all of you?) We’re all hanging in there and trying to make the best of the situation. We’re looking on the bright side and enjoying all this extra “bonus time” with family.
So that’s it folks, in a nutshell, what we’ve been up to in the last few months. Let’s look on the bright side -I’ve got a laptop and a bit of time on my hands, I can blog!! J
Some of you may be wondering what is behind that door...
and I will share with you...in a sec. But first, I have to tell you, it's not a pretty sight. You see, I'm having alot of anxiety about this. This is the part that my OCD self hates about moving! I abhore deciding what will get shipped and what we'll pack and take with us. And during this move, there's even more to it. We had to decide which stuff was going to go by air (which is limited) and what will go by sea...what will be stored and what we'll take for luggage. Uggh, I hate it, really I do! I hate that no matter how much organizing and planning you do, you end up with things that you forget. I hate having people, strange (but nice), people in my house for days on end, touching all of my stuff. And especially during this move, I have hated that I have a room that looks like...
like...
AAAHHHH!!!
So yes, I know I've SUCKED at blogging lately. And I'm sure you all have probably already guessed that we're back from our Orlando Disney World Vacation, where we had a wonderful, busy, memorable time! And when we got back home, we hit the ground running. And haven't stopped since. And now I'm sitting in my home and it's all packed up and I can't believe we're already here -- in the middle of moving -- to JAPAN!!
Which means so much to do! So little time. Lots of bumps along the way. Lots of mixed emotions and stress and squibbles and squabbles because of the emotions and stress.
But more than that, proof that we have some really good friends and caring family. And as I sit here tonight, in my house that is almost packed up...
except for our beds...
the couch and a couple of t.v.'s...
As it awaits being loaded on the truck tomorrow, I can't help but reflect on this house. On the memories we've made here. The blessings we've had here. The life that we've lived here. I can't help but be thankful during the craziness of our moving mania for our military life.
Ok, so we got here and originally were going to wait until the 19th to go to Disney and wait for Craig's sister and her family to arrive (they flew in on the 18th). But we got word that they might be delayed due to weather, so we went ahead and started our Disney adventures yesterday...the 18th.
And of course we started out with The Magic Kingdom. Please excuse Colby in any pictures...if he doesn't look happy...it's because he gets moody about getting his picture taken. He is having a blast, though.
We all are. It's been two full days of parks and we're having so much fun. After doing about half of The Magic Kingdom yesterday, we decided to take a different route and do The Animal Kingdom today. We have seen and done so much already! Rides, shows, pin trading, safari's, character autographs, and have spent time with family.
And Craig has found his favorite ride...a roller coaster that has made him a lover (he's not been a huge fan of them before today)...
A ride all about this mountain. A pretty big mountain, right? Well, it's a pretty big ride too. And I heard it was pretty stinkin' cool! I mean, Craig wouldn't quit telling me how cool it was. I didn't find out for myself. You see, Colby and I didn't ride it. I mean, somebody had to stay back and take the pictures...right?
Can you spot them?
How about now?
So yes...we're having a blast...we hope your days have been just as merry.
We’re on the road - headed to Orlando for our Christmas Disney World vacation. And I mean that literally. We are sitting in our van and are on the road. Oh do I love technology!
The kids aren’t bored…they’re watching a movie. I’m not bored…I’m blogging. We used to travel (car travel) a bunch when I was a kid. Back then I would have never thought that when my kids were the age I was then they would get to watch movies while traveling...who woulda thunk! And I used to be against the whole DVD player in the car idea, but not anymore. Now, we don’t turn it on every time we get in the car. For that matter, we usually don’t turn it on. But for long trips, it’s nice. Real nice!
You know what’s not nice? A husband who drinks a lot of coffee. Especially when said husband has a weak bladder.
I’m not joking when I say…my husband is worse than a child being potty-trained! He has to stop to pee SO much it’s unbelievable! (Isn’t this a medical condition?) In our family, it has kind of become a joke. Especially because it “hits him fast” so most of the time he has to pull over on the side of the road. Like today...
No folks, that's not BIG FOOT you see hiding in those trees...
Really. Seriously. I am now calling this syndrome the "I Can't Hold It While Traveling Syndrome." Prime example – it was the summer of ’05 and we were driving from Fairchild AFB, WA to Montgomery, AL because of our military move to Maxwell AFB. I was driving the van filled with our children. Craig was driving his truck filled with all of the things they refused to pack for us (candles, cleaning supplies – hey, that stuff is expensive to replace), the stuff I refused to let them pack for us (sentimental keepsakey kind of things), and our dog. I think we were somewhere in South Dakota when Craig got on the radio (yes, I said that correctly – back then he refused to have a cell phone so we used walkie talkies to talk to each other. So Craig got on his radio and told me,
“Charity, I’m gonna have to use the bathroom soon. How are you guys doing?”
I looked in the rearview mirror at my four children and said, “Hey kids, your dad has to stop and use the restroom. How about you? Anyone else need to go to the bathroom?”
They all looked at me, even a recently potty-trained Colby, and said “Nooooo.” Why that response? Because we had stopped so many times already that day for potty breaks.
"So, I got on my radio to Craig and said, “The kids are ok. But I guess I could use some gas, so why don’t we stop at a gas station to kill two birds with one stone."
“Ok” he answered back, “I’ll stop at the next one.”
We got lucky – not five minutes down the road we saw signs for a gas station at the next exit. So Craig goes to take that exit and abruptly pulls over to the shoulder of the road and stops on the off ramp. What was wrong? I thought maybe he was getting a flat or there was something wrong with our dog or – and then I see Craig hopping out of his trucking and running to the passenger side where he proceeded to pee on his tire – yes – just like our dog. (There’s a reason why they’re called man’s best friend.) He hurried and hopped back into his truck and drove to the gas station that was only about 100 yards away.
When we got out I said, “Whoa, what happened back there? Just a little further and you would have had a bathroom, dear.”
He replied, “Yeah, I know, but it hit me fast --- I really had to go!”
It’s funny, too, because he’s not usually this way. Only when we’re traveling. I’m not sure why. Surely it’s something psychological. I kind of feel bad for the guy. Luckily, he can just go pick a bush, or a tree, and then we can mosey on along our way. And yes, I stock up on hand sanitizer when we’re traveling.
Only a few more hours and we’ll be in Orlando. Hopefully not too many more bathroom stops before then. (Can I call them bathroom stops when the peeing happens on bushes and tires?) I can feel the excitement in the car…Disney World, here we come!
The weekend before Thanksgiving, Killian came for a visit. So, I went ahead and did a little "photo shoot" at one of the parks near our house...I knew I'd need Christmas pictures and I wouldn't have Killian again until our trip to Disney. So, for the past few weeks...I've been wading through all of the photos I took that day trying to decide which one was it. You know, that one that gives you butterflies? The one I'd use for our Christmas picture this year. And although I don't want to share that with you today (I'm not that big of a spoiler -- wait for your card man) I did want to share a few with you from that day. Just because... it's what I've been looking at all day and I wanted to share...
Ok, ok...back to wrapping I go...I hope to have all of my Christmas gifts in the mail tomorrow morning. Enjoy your "sneak peak".
Howdy, y'all -- it's been a long time. And how perfect is this post that I have logged on to post several times (to get called away by phone calls, forgotten appointments, childrens questions) but to say -- I've got good intentions. Really, I do...
Today I'd like to share with you a reason for celebration in the Zaleski household. TEN years ago today (yes, I intended to post this last week on the 4th...so yes, it's ten years and a week - go us!), Craig and I got married. That's right, it's our TEN YEAR anniversary! It's so weird to think that ten years ago, when we were 19 and 23, we got married in a small town in North Dakota...amongst snow and sweaters and a few loved ones...
unsure of where the road would lead -- we believed in life, love and probably a bit of libido. And here we are, still standing together, still believing in those three things. But today, ten years later, we believe in a few other things too. Craig and I now believe in living intentionally. We are now a little older, a little wiser, and quite a bit more mature -- which means that we know that we have to get up every day and make the choice to be happy in our marriage, because marriage is often times hard work. And sometimes painful. But in this last ten years, we've learned that if you make the intentional choice to be happy, even on the bad days, it's good. Because a marriage built on intention: an intentional willingness to make the good times great and to work through the bad times so the good times are that much better, that's a marriage to be proud of! It's taken Craig and I a while -- and many of you have witnessed us learning, and growing and figuring it out along the way -- but we have and we're proud today to say -- TEN. How long have you ben married? "Ten years!" Thanks for your support and love along the way!
Speaking of intentions, I wanted to let you know I'm out of my "writing funk",and I intend to be blogging alot more to fill you in along the journey of... a trip to Disney World for Christmas and a move to Japan. Stay tuned, it'll be a crazy, beautiful journey. And thanks to a digital camera, a laptop, and a renewed desire to write, I intend to share that journey with you!
Stephenie Meyer: New Moon (The Twilight Saga, Book 2)
Ok, so, yup! I'm reading the Twilight series. Blame this on my friends Dee and Angie.
The New Catholic Answer Bible: The New American Bible
Attempting to make this my daily read.
Katie Crouch: Girls in Trucks
I finished it -- and it was good to begin with. But it wasn't what I was expecting. (**)
Henry Cloud: Boundaries with Kids
There's always a self help book I'm plowing through...that's the psych lover in me.
Jean Craighead George: Julie of the Wolves Treasury Three Complete Novels
Reading this one to the kids.
